Background
The Book of Common Prayer explains that "Holy Matrimony is Christian marriage, in which the woman and man enter into a life-long union, make their vows before God and the Church, and receive the grace and blessing of God to help them fulfill their vows." Across time and across many different cultures, heterosexual marriage has been entered into for a variety of reasons, some motivated by a sense of God's will for one's life, and some motivated by any number of things. In the 21st Century, the Episcopal Church joins a few other Christians in discerning how the institution of marriage might be strengthened and protected, given cultural influences that sometimes seem to undermine and work against the notion of making a vow to another person, entering into a covenant, commitment or promise. Many of us feel that the best way to strengthen marriage is to offer its institutional, sacramental and cultural benefits to all who would make their promises before God, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
There are many in our parish who would advocate for a true separation between Church and State with regard to marriage, so that the government makes a marriage legal (and defines what marriage might be) while the church blesses any sacred union. The Church has often provided liturgies for the blessing of ships, homes, liturgical vessels and vestments, and animals-- surely it is also in the mind of Christ to bless any human relationship that might ask for God's blessing.
Given the murky relationship of Church and State with regard to marriage, domestic partnerships and unions, we continue to discern God's will for our lives and for our church. Weddings and unions at All Souls follow the Book of Common Prayer as closely as possible and any couple wishing to come before God must meet with the Rector, agree to enter into counseling, and agree to work with our parish guidelines for marriage.
The Service
Whether a marriage, commitment service or holy union, the liturgy will closely follow the Book of Common Prayer, retain references to the Holy Trinity and often include the Sacrament of Holy Communion. For pastoral reasons, which should be discussed early on with the rector, there may be exceptions.
Counseling
The normal process around weddings, holy unions and blessings involves an initial meeting with the rector. In this meeting the spiritual traditions of the couple are discussed as well as their expectations for their life in the future. If the couple decides to continue in this process, they will then meet with a counselor, Ms. Baiba Kelley, for three, one-and-a-half-hour sessions. These are confidential with the provision that if there is any reason why Ms. Kelley cannot recommend the couple further, she will communicate this to the rector. The rector and the couple then meet to plan the liturgy and discuss any additional spiritual questions the couple may have.
Guidelines
Please contact the Parish Office (202-232-4244) for the current guildelines, which should be posted online shortly.
More information