The Church's Laws Concerning Holy Matrimony

The Episcopal Church requires that at least one of the parties be a baptized Christian, that the ceremony be attested to by at least two witnesses, and that the marriage conform to the laws of the State and the canons of this Church.

At All Souls, it is customary that at least one of the parties be a member in good standing of this parish, or the son, daughter, or parent of a member in good standing, or be in the process of becoming a member of the parish (through baptism, transfer of membership letter, reaffirmation of faith, or reception from the Roman Catholic Church). All weddings, holy unions and blessings are scheduled at the discretion of the rector.

Marriage after Divorce

Canon Law prohibits clergy from solemnizing the marriage of anyone who has been divorced, except with the consent of the bishop. The guidelines of the Diocese of Washington establish the norm of at least 6 months from the date of the final decree of divorce for remarriage in the Church.

In cases of a marriage where one or both of the parties have been divorced, the officiating priest obtains the following from the couple and sends them to the Bishop of Washington: 1) a written report of the counseling received by the persons seeking remarriage, 2) a completed diocesan marriage questionnaire, 3) a signed copy of the Declaration of Intention, and 4) a copy of the“Divorce Absolute” (not “Divorce Nisi”).

The bishop asks that except in extraordinary circumstances, all requests for permission to remarry be sent to her office no fewer than 30 days prior to the proposed wedding date and that no second marriage shall occur until 6 months following the Courts granting of a “Divorce Absolute.” Third or subsequent marriages require a slightly different process.

Date & Time of the Wedding

Application for marriage is normally made at least 6 months in advance. Since a wedding at All Souls involves the participation of church staff and volunteers adequate advance notice is essential. The couple will want to talk with a priest and make arrangements as far in advance as possible in order to reduce scheduling difficulties.

Generally, All Souls holds ceremonies on Saturdays, with one ceremony per Saturday, between the hours of 1:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., within the limits of scheduled parish events. Ceremonies may not be scheduled on Sundays, on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, or in the season of Lent (the 40 days before Easter) or Holy Week. It is preferable that weddings not be scheduled during the season of Advent (the 4 weeks before Christmas).

Marriage is a sacramental rite of the Church and takes place in the context of worship. As in every service of the Church, the priest is charged by Canon Law with the final responsibility for determining the appropriateness of all arrangements and details.

Receptions

When available, the Parish Hall may be reserved for wedding receptions and should be requested at the same time as use of the church is arranged. A sexton’s services are included in the reception fee. Because of the requirements for preparing for Sunday worship services, Church facilities are not available for receptions on Saturdays if the anticipated ending time is later than 9 p.m.

Clergy, Altar Guild & Acolytes

Altar Guild

The Altar Guild is charged with the responsibility of assisting the officiating priest with arrangements for weddings and blessings. A member of the Altar Guild may be present at the wedding to assist and support the wedding party and to insure the smooth flow of the service itself.

Acolytes

Often, at least one member of our Altar Guild is present for the wedding. Family and friends who have been trained as acolytes are welcome to serve in this capacity. Normally, a $200.00 donation to the All Souls Altar Guild is made. If additional acolytes serve for the couple, it is customary to make a small donation to them.

Clergy

All ceremonies at All Souls are conducted by a priest associated with this parish. At the couple's request, the priest may invite an Episcopal priest from another parish, or diocese, a clergy person from another denomination to assist in the ceremony. The officiating priest must be notified of any desire to include other clergy.

The Rehearsal

The purpose of the wedding rehearsal is to give the wedding party the opportunity to become familiar with the service ahead which will enable them to be at ease during the worship service. The couple participates fully in the rehearsal. The officiating priest will be responsible for conducting the rehearsal. Outside wedding planners and coordinators should understand their role as one of support and consultation.

A wedding rehearsal normally takes place on the Friday night before the Saturday wedding. For small or informal gatherings, the rehearsal may simply be by explanation a few minutes before the actual ceremony. Please consult with the officiating priest before setting the time of the rehearsal. Except in extremely unusual circumstances, rehearsals will not be scheduled to begin after 6 p.m. The rehearsal will take about an hour. The entire service, including ushering in of relatives and the entrance procession, will be rehearsed. Therefore, it is important for all members of the wedding party to attend and for everyone to be on time. The clergy and assisting members of the altar guild are only expected to be in attendance at the rehearsal for one hour.

The Liturgy & Communion

Since the marriage service is a worship service involving the whole congregation, a celebration of the Holy Eucharist is usually included. The decision to have the Eucharist will be made by the couple with the advice and counsel of the officiating priest. When the Holy Eucharist is celebrated as a part of the marriage ceremony, all who are present will be invited to share in this sacrament of unity.

Lay Eucharistic Ministers 

Licensed Eucharistic ministers from All Souls or other parishes are welcome to assist. Requests for particular individuals to assist should be made to the officiating priest.

Readers

It is desirable that the Lessons from the Old Testament, the Epistle, and the Prayers of the People be read by lay persons. They may practice the readings at the rehearsal.

Service Programs

A service leaflet, or bulletin, is made for the service by the parish staff, in keeping with parish customs of formatting and style. All information for the service leaflet must be submitted to the parish office no later than two weeks before the ceremony.

Wedding Music

The bride and groom must contact the Director of Music for a consultation at least six (6) to eight (8) weeks before the wedding. He will assist you in the selection of music for the organ, and congregational or choral singing and can supply a list of additional instrumentalists or vocalists, if desired.

Unless his schedule prevents it, the Director of Music will play at all weddings that include music. If another musician is desired, this must be cleared through the rector and parish organist.

In keeping with the understanding of the wedding or blessing as a sacramental rite of the Church, music selection is limited to sacred music. Music that does not have as its chief end the glorification and praise of God, including the melody from Wagner's Lohengrin known as the "Bridal Chorus," is not to be used and may best be left for the reception.

Decoration of the Church

The general principle to keep in mind is that a wedding is a worship service in which we seek to worship God with beauty and simplicity. Extravagant decorations are not necessary to create an atmosphere of joy and celebration.

The Flowers

If flowers are to be used, they are arranged through Allan Woods Florist, 2645 Connecticut Avenue NW (between Calvert and Woodley) Washington, DC 20008. The phone number is 202.332.3334. Options for flowers include two large arrangements (one on either side of the High Altar) and two additional, smaller arrangements on the altar in the Mary Chapel. Flowers are left in the church for use on Sunday, and the Sunday worship leaflet will identify the flowers as given to the glory of God and in thanksgiving for the new couple. Prayers are also said for the couple.

The Altar & Aisle

The liturgical color for a wedding is white, the color of joy and celebration. The Altar Guild will prepare the altar with a white and gold festive frontal, or a white frontal with red trim. (The color of the altar flowers is not restricted, and may be requested from Allan Woods.) Pew markers may be supplied by a florist if desired. Altar candles and two candelabra, if desired, are the only candles used. Extra candelabra or unity candles will not be a part of the ceremony. Aisle runners are hazardous and are not permitted.

Rice, Confetti, Bird Seed & Bubbles

Bird seed, rice, rose petals, soap bubbles, etc. are not allowed inside or outside the church building.

Photography

While the Church is sensitive to the desire of the couple, family and friends to preserve this important moment in their lives, it is also concerned that the dignity and reverence of the service be maintained, and that family and friends' experience of worship not be compromised. The cooperation of the couple and the entire wedding party is sought and appreciated.

The photographing, videotaping, and audio-recording during the service cannot interfere with the tone and movement of the service. You may re-enact certain portions of the service, if you desire, after the service is over. We require that you limit your photography time to 30 minutes following the service since the staff and volunteers must clean and prepare the church for other services. There should be no receiving line at the church. This is the purpose of the reception.

Photographers and videographers may stand at the back of the church and use available-light film. No flash pictures or distracting movements while the ceremony is in progress.

Please let all photographers know about our policies. Ceremony guests will be asked not to take photographs during the service. Any questions should be discussed with the clergy during the pre-ceremonial discussions.

Dressing at the Church

Women in the wedding party may use the church Conference Room or the Undercroft as a dressing room or waiting room for the wedding. The men may convene in the place not used by the women. Smoking in these areas is not permitted. Someone in the wedding party should remove all personal belongings from these rooms immediately after the wedding and assure that these areas are picked up and left as they were found. The parish cannot be responsible for lost or stolen items.